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This precious boy of ours turns one today and I can't quite believe it! It's crazy that it's been a year since he was born right here in our own house! He continues to live up to his name, not only in physical strength, but in character as well. He is strong, funny, smart, adventurous, sweet, friendly to all, a fabulous eater, and a lover of music. I'm so excited to celebrate him and his birth this weekend.
Happy Birthday, Oak Alexander! We love you so!
Christmas. It's over and January is in full swing. It feels great, doesn't it?!? I love Christmas; it's one of my favorite times of the year, but when January arrives, I'm always so very ready. I love the quiet, calm of January. It's a great time to organize, purge, rest, and recoup. It's a lovely month of solitude and reset, and a fabulous way to start the new year, if you ask me.
And while January is here and we're actually nearing the end, I wanted to take a moment to share with you a few of my favorite giving moments of the holiday season. The holidays can be so full of family and generosity, but they can also so easily be consumed by commercialism, consumption, and leave us with a feeling of needing to buy and spend more, more, and more. As you can probably guess, if you've read even a little of my writing, that side of Christmas is not my cup of tea. I love giving gifts, but I hate so much of what goes along with that. Setting foot in a mall with a list in hand is nauseating to me. I think malls should be reserved for leisurely window shopping with a best friend, coffee in hand, and babies in strollers...not for frantic Christmas shopping and navigating crowds of other desperate and rushed shoppers. Gross.
In the past, I've combatted these feelings by shopping online for as many things as I can, which is a great strategy for avoiding malls, but not a great one if you're looking to support your local economy. So, this year, I tried a few other strategies (some I've done before, and some new to me as well) and I thought I'd share those with you today.
How about you? Did you find any new ways for making your giving simpler and more intentional this year?
Our little book lover got himself a mama-made 100% wool sweater last weekend! The pattern is called Storytime Scholar and I knit it up in some deliciously squishy Plymouth Yarn Homestead Tweed in Taupe purchased at a new favorite local yarn shop of mine. I LOVED working with this pattern and yarn! (My Ravelry link can be found here.) A baby cardigan knit with bulky yarn on size 9 & 10 needles?? A breeze!! I made the 12-18 month size for him, and it fits great! He has a bit of extra space in it so that it will fit him through this winter. I really debated over whether to make it extra big in order to hopefully get another winter out of it, but I decided that at this age that's probably unrealistic. He would end up wearing a huge sweater this winter and a tiny one next. Silly. Instead, he has a sweater that fits great right now, which is perfect for the cold weather that has certainly arrived and for the chilly house that we keep. He's been wearing his sweater most days this past week and it makes my mama heart happy each time I see him in it.
I also added adorable sheep buttons that I found at another local craft shop. How cute are they?!
This boy's handknit collection is growing and I must say it is so fun! There is nothing quite like dressing my baby for cold by wrapping him up in a mama-knit hat, mittens, cowl, socks, and sweater. Yes, knitting for my baby is good. Very good.
Teething Tea!! Yes, tea for babies! I've talked before about how we use teas and tinctures in our house to fight off sickness, calm our minds and bodies, for reproductive health, and for overall enjoyment, but I've also started using them to comfort and calm our little guy. I've heard that babies react to teething in different ways...some seem unfazed, while others react as if the world is ending. Our little Oak falls into the latter category. He experiences all the symptoms of teething from runny nose, to a chin-full of drool, to whining, fussiness, and full out screaming to express his frustration and discomfort from those impending teeth.
So, with that being said, I've tried a few natural remedies, including homeopathic teething tablets and essential oil blends, and this teething tea. They are all helpful and useful at different times (ie. the middle of the night!), but I find that the teething tea I feel most comfortable using liberally and consistently. Because it is a simple blend of herbs, it is gentle, natural, and perfectly safe! I've used the tea in two different ways. One way is to simply put it in a bottle and have him sip on it. The other way, which he prefers, is to freeze it in ice cube trays and then plop one of the cubes into this little mesh teether/food feeder thing we have. (Side note: I've never actually used those things for food, but they do work great for ice cubes!) If you don't have a mesh thing like that, you could also use a piece of cheese cloth or muslin and tie the ice cube in it, as long as the cloth is big enough and the ice cube is securely tied inside of it in order to prevent choking. Obviously, use your common sense. The ice cube method is great because not only is it fun for him, but the ice also soothes his gums.
I've found that right before nap-time or bedtime is a great time to give Oak the tea. It calms him before sleep and helps relieve any discomfort he may be feeling from the teeth, which is helpful for sleep as well. It's also a great distraction for him when he's being fussy, which gives me a few minutes to get a few things done around the house or in the kitchen.
1 part dried chamomile flowers (a calming and inflammatory herb that promotes sleep)
1 part dried lavender flowers (a relaxing and calming herb)
1 part dried lemon balm leaves (a soothing and calming herb that promotes sleep)
1 part dried valerian root (an herb that promotes sleep)
1 part dried catnip (a calming herb that relieves irritability and pain)
Mix all of the herbs together and store in an airtight container away from direct sunlight. When ready to use, use 1 teaspoon of herbs for each cup of water and steep until the water has cooled to room temperature. Always allow tea to cool completely before giving it to your little one in a cup or bottle, or freeze in ice cube trays and let baby suck on the ice cube. This should ONLY be done if the ice cube is inside of something in order to prevent choking. Store extra ice cubes in the freezer for easy future access.
Dosage: According to Rosemary Gladstone, when an adult dosage is 1 cup of tea, a child under 2 years should have 1/2 to 1 teaspoon. I recommend freezing ice cubes in 1 teaspoon amounts. You can also add a teaspoon of tea to a bottle and dilute it with a bit of water, breastmilk, or formula.
When using herbs, I encourage you to do your own research. Most places and websites will tell you to talk to your doctor about them. That is definitely an option! However, many doctors are not herbalists and are often not familiar with the many different herbs out there and how they can be used safely and effectively for medicinal purposes. So, if you're wanting to learn more, start studying some well-known herbalists! Two of my favorite books on medicinal herbs are Rosemary Gladstar's Medicinal Herbs: A Beginner's Guide and Conceiving Healthy Babies: An Herbal Guide to Support Preconception, Pregnancy, and Lactation. The latter is a great reference whether or not you are in your childbearing years.
References:
Gladstar, Rosemary. Medicinal Herbs: A Beginner's Guide. Storey Publishing: North Adams, MA. 2012.
Mountain Rose Herbs. https://www.mountainroseherbs.com/
High Garden Tea. https://highgardentea.com/
A few creative projects have been happening here over the past few months and this is one of them! With our drafty hardwood floors throughout the house, I wanted our little buddy to have a quilt to play on that was easily movable from room to room and that wasn't too sentimental to get well-used. Before I made this, I was using the quilt I'd made for his room, but I was sad every time I found it getting dirty from the high-traffic floors or from too much baby slime. Some quilts are made to stay on beds and be loved while sleeping, while others are made to be sat on, played on, and beat up. This playtime quilt is exactly that. It was a quick project made from Lions, Tigers and Bears from Cloud 9's Lore Collection by Lean Duncan, the arrow fabric from Cotton + Steel's Mustang Collection by Melody Miller, and Cotton + Steel's XOXO basics in Dijon Mustard. Made with a cotton batting, a simple square shape, wide binding, and straight quilting stitch, I finished this project in an afternoon. It's just what we needed and it gets used every day! Now that our little tree is scooting all around he's not often on the blanket for long periods of time, but it's a great starting place and a warm place to put him down as our house is starting to get it's wintertime chill.
Wow! I can't believe we've been home from Summerfest in Milwaukee for two weeks already! It's been a full two weeks, but our two weeks in Milwaukee were definitely worth writing about! I mean, it's not every day that you hear about a 4-month old spending 11 days at a music festival!
With our two travel days and a day off in the middle of the festival, we ended up being away from home for two full weeks. It was a long two weeks, but overall it went very, very well! I was amazed at how well Oak rolled with the craziness of the festival and the new surroundings. Dan played two shows each day of the festival (22 shows in all!) and we were there for each one of them. The way the festival is set up, we didn't have the opportunity to come and go as we pleased, so we all went in to the festival together and most days we all left together. One thing that made the trip very manageable was that we stayed in a studio hotel room less than a mile from the festival grounds. This made for a very easy commute in and out of the festival each day and provided us with a lot of quiet downtime each morning. Here's what a typical day looked like while we were there:
A couple things that made this whole trip workable:
For those who are wondering, Oak's earmuffs are called Baby Banz. So many people commented at the festival on how cute they are, which, don't get me wrong, I do think they are adorable. However, Oak did not wear them to make a fashion statement, he wore them every time he was close to loud music at the festival (which was pretty much the whole time). Hearing damage can be permanent, especially at such a young age. I saw so many babies and kids at the festival without ear protection and it made me sad for them. Parents, if you bring your kids to places with loud noises, protect their ears!!!
In the end, the festival was a great success for us and we are so glad that we chose to go as a family. It was hard work, a lot of hard work, but it was fun too. Cheers to another year of Summerfest under our belts!
I've dreamed for years about berry picking with my little ones. Picking berries and tucking them away to be used all year is something that I'm rather passionate about and so the thought of sharing that with my children and teaching them about the importance of local, seasonal food has been something I've been looking forward to for years. In my dreams I imagined picking berries for hours with a happy, little baby on my back. The reality of that looked somewhat different, but in the end I did pick strawberries with a baby on my back and I'm so glad I did! He wasn't too pleased about the whole back thing and a short morning nap made for a tired, fussy baby while picking, but he eventually fell asleep and my friend Amy and I were able to pleasantly pick berries and chat. Over the years, I've found that the berry patch is a wonderful place for deep conversation. Your hands are busy with a menial task and so it's easy to open up and really share what's going on in life and I love that.
I ended up with 10+ pounds of strawberries and was able to go home that afternoon and put them all into their assigned places! Three pounds went into the freezer to be used the rest of the year in kombucha, smoothies, and sauces. Some were sliced up to be eaten with brownies and ice cream for a gathering of friends that evening. Some were put into a second ferment of kombucha and others into a pint of vodka (Spiked Strawberry Mint Lemonade, anyone??). Some were set aside for a pie. Some were put in the fridge for fresh eating. And the rest were made into jam! Nap-time Jam, that is! It's amazing what a determined mama can accomplish during a decent nap-time! By the time that boy of ours had woken up from an afternoon nap, I had successfully washed, hulled, and put away all of the strawberries, made and canned jam, and cleaned up the kitchen! Success!! It felt amazing, I must say! Now, if only all nap times were that productive!
Strawberries! I do love them. And I love being able to enjoy their summer freshness all year round. It makes their short season so very enjoyable. How about you? What do you love to do with seasonal strawberries?
With babies come diapers--a lot of diapers! My mom raised all four of us mostly in cloth diapers and so the decision to use cloth for our baby was an easy one for me. With my husband I rarely put my foot down for any decision, as we make most decisions together, but with cloth diapers I did. And even while Dan was not excited about the idea at first, I knew that it was the best decision for our family. Using cloth is better for the environment, better for our baby's skin, better for potty training, and most importantly, better for our wallets! Cloth diapers can be SOOOO affordable!! In fact, after borrowing some of our stash from a friend and receiving the rest of what we needed as gifts, we have spent $0 on them. Yes, $0.00!! We have spent some money on disposables, as we used them for the first 2.5 weeks, we use them periodically when we are out and about, and we will use them exclusively when we travel, but we have not spent any money on our cloth diapers. Actually, using those disposables is what sold Dan on cloth diapers. The first time he bought diapers he was sold! Those things are expensive! And if you want ones without all the nasty chemicals and fragrances in them (which we do), they are even more expensive!
Now, I know that cloth diapers are not for everyone. When I hear of full-time working parents using cloth, I'm amazed! They take time. Not a ton of time, but they do take time, mostly in the form of laundry. And as for the "disgusting" factor, which I often see cross people's faces when I tell them we use cloth---it's really not bad. When a baby is exclusively breastfed, their poop is water soluble, so you just throw it all in the washing machine and it comes out clean and fresh! (This changes a bit once they are eating solid foods, but they are still not that bad.) They do take a bit longer to put on and it's a little more work to change them when you're out and about, but all of these things are minor, if you ask me, when compared to the advantages. (For those who are wondering, we are using Thirsties Duo Wrap diaper covers along with a few other borrowed brands and several different brands of prefold diapers.)
However, this post is not about cloth diapers. A lot of people use cloth and in some ways, they are even becoming the "in" thing. This post is about cloth wipes, since you can't change a diaper very well without wipes. Two of my cousins have made their own disposable wipes with paper towels and a wipes solution. They both liked their homemade wipes, but both eventually switched to using washcloths and a wipes solution instead. When you're already washing diapers, it makes little difference to wash washcloths along with them. So, I had decided awhile back to just go straight for the washcloths. I had registered for a few packs of baby washcloths on Amazon, but when we didn't receive them, I decided to just make my own. I bought a yard of terry cloth for about $6.00 and cut out 20 8" x 8" washcloths for our changing table and 6 4.5" x 4.5" washcloths for our diaper bag. I used my serger to finish the raw edges and they were done! I then made this wipes solution, which I keep in a spray bottle on the changing table and a small bottle in the diaper bag. When it's time to change a diaper, I spray a bit on a washcloth, wipe him down, and throw the soiled diaper and wipe into our diaper pail (or wet bag when we're out and about). It's so easy and I've found that the cloth wipes do a better job wiping that mustardy breastmilk poo off of those smooth little buns! One batch of that wipes solution recipe lasts us about a week and so it's also a very affordable option. (There are also some other good wipes solutions out there. My cousin uses one with coconut oil that works great as well!) It has been so wonderful to not have to add diapers and wipes to our monthly budget! It is one way to make raising a baby MUCH easier on the wallet.
How about you? Have you used cloth diapers or cloth wipes? Or do you have found other ways that make raising babies easier on the wallet?
I first started learning about homebirth a few years ago after my best friend had a less than pleasant hospital birth experience with her first baby. Her birth resulted in a beautiful and lively baby boy, but also in an unwanted, unplanned, and likely unnecessary C-Section. This set us both on a journey of finding out more about other options out there. The first thing I did was do a little research on cesarean rates in the U.S. What I found shocked me. In 2014, the national rate for cesareans was 32.2%! That's 1 in 3 births! To me that seems crazy! While the cesarean option has saved many babies and mothers since it was first introduced, I cannot believe that 1 in 3 babies need to be delivered via c-section in order to be birthed healthily and safely. Birth is a natural process that women's bodies were created to preform. In my opinion, it is absurd to think that 1 in 3 births are unable to happen naturally. There is also the issue of interventions in the hospital. Doctors are great at fixing problems and when a baby or mama are not progressing or performing the way they want them to, they have a solution to fix that problem. This works great for them and for some people, but these things were not for us. We wanted a natural, unmedicated, vaginal birth without interventions. Now, I know that it is very possible to have a wonderful natural unmedicated vaginal birth in the hospital, but that just wasn't what we wanted.
Now, there are often a lot of questions surrounding the idea of homebirth. My husband and I have received many questions, puzzled looks, and concerned comments through this process. One of the questions we've heard quite a lot is, "Will you have a doula or someone there??" This question always makes me laugh. Yes! Of course! We may live a bit on the hippie side of life, but we were not at any point planning to birth this baby by ourselves. Ha! No! We not only had a doula, but we had two highly trained and qualified midwives. Our main midwife, Jeanne, has been practicing for 35 years and has delivered over 1500 babies. She was accompanied by an apprentice midwife, Joanna, who has been apprenticing for a few years and works as a doula as well. Many midwives, especially in our area, work in pairs and so if some emergency were to come up on their end, at least one of them would be at our birth along with a backup midwife. (This did happen to us. Read our birth story here to find out more!) We then had our doula, Anna, who is also in school to become a certified nurse midwife. We were always planning to be surrounded by a very experienced birth team.
With homebirth, people also often ask, "What if something goes wrong?" The answer to that is--then we go to the hospital. Most home to hospital transfers with homebirths are non-emergencies where the birth team and laboring mother agree that more assistance is needed, for whatever reason, and they hop in their own cars and head to the hospital. However, when there is a real emergency, we live in a society where it is generally very easy and quick to get to the hospital and so emergency care is usually only a few minutes away. For us, there are three hospitals within 3 miles of our house and one of them is just over a mile away, so we were not too concerned about this. Also, when you work with a homebirth midwife, you have continuity of care. That midwife is with you the whole time and so she is very aware of your progress and your baby's. This makes her very in tune with any possible complications and gives her ample time to watch for and be prepared to act if something should come up.
With all this in mind, here are the 3 main reasons that we decided to have a homebirth.
If you want to read more about homebirth, there are some great resources out there. First of all, I think having a solid understanding of natural birth is the best place to start. Anything written by Ina May Gaskin will provide you with that understanding, especially Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. For info on homebirth, Midwifery Today has some great background information and things to consider on their website. A Good Birth, A Safe Birth, provides a lot of great information on things to consider when deciding the birth setting that is best for you. While the information is a bit old, not much has changed in since it was published. There is also a lot of great information on birth options and midwifery through Minnesota Families for Midwifery and the Minnesota Council for Certified Professional Midwives. If you live outside of the Minnesota area and are looking for information on midwives, I encourage you to research it! It's amazing what a simple google search will turn up. Facebook is also a great way to connect with people in the birth world. My biggest piece of advice to anyone who is pregnant is ASK QUESTIONS. Don't be satisfied with just doing what people tell you you are supposed to do. Research things. Get second opinions. Ask other mothers and grandmothers. Do what's right for you and your baby--even if it goes against societal norms. Be confident. You were made for this.
The picture above is of Joanna, our apprentice midwife, weighing Oak on his 1 week appointment.
Oak getting footprinted. :)
And lastly, our wonderful midwives with our little guy. It was such a pleasure working with them both.
Throughout my pregnancy, I read birth story after birth story and each time I read one I felt more empowered and more capable of the task that was ahead of me. Each story reminded me that birth is a natural process and one that my body was created to experience and to succeed at. Each story combatted the fear that our society often places around birth and replaced it with confidence, excitement, and anticipation. Each story made my own story more of a reality. So, with that, I wanted to share my story with you, in hopes that it would do the same for you.
Monday, February 22nd, was just a normal day for me, or so I thought. I went to work, taught my class, graded a few presentations, and cleaned up my desk a bit in preparations for my final days at the office. You see, I was scheduled to work through the end of that week and my baby was due the following week, so it was preparation time indeed! I felt that the baby had dropped that day and I found myself waddling around campus a bit more than usual, but that was to be expected as I was approaching the 39th week mark. After work that day, I went to my usual Monday chiropractor appointment and then on to my prenatal yoga class. At the chiropractor, the office staff commented on how my belly was sitting a bit lower than it had the week before and they were all placing bets on when our little one would arrive. I told them I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be that week...I mean, I had 4 days left of work and I really wanted to wrap things up and walk away with a clean slate. Besides, I had a prenatal massage scheduled for Saturday, and that sounded so very lovely. At yoga, I felt so motivated and so strong. My body had been craving the workout all day and every stretch felt so good and so empowering. As we squatted and held our goddess poses, I pictured myself laboring and breathing through contractions and I heard the verse that would become my mantra go through my head: "I can do all things through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13, NIV). That evening at home Dan and I went about our usual business. I put my tomato and pepper order together for my summer garden, while Dan worked and played on his computer. It was a low-key and relaxing evening.
Around 10:30 or 11:00 that evening as we got ready for bed, I had my first sign that labor was nearing. I lost a bit of my mucus plug along with a bit of bloody show (for those who are unfamiliar with the events of childbirth, I realize this may sound disgusting, but it is in fact a normal part of the birth process). The sight of the blood brought a bit of a giggle to my lips as I sat in the bathroom a bit shocked and unsure of what to make of it. I told Dan and also told him that this happens to some women weeks before they actually give birth, so it may not mean anything. I then proceeded to call my best friend and we giddily discussed what this could or could not mean for the timing of this impending birth. After getting off the phone with her, I texted my midwife, who promptly called me and wanted me to tell her all the details. She told me to go to sleep and call her in the morning to tell her if anything changed. So, with strict instructions to myself to not get too excited and to simply go to sleep, since I had to work in the morning, I willed myself to sleep.
Around 12:30 am I woke up to my first contraction. It felt like a strong menstrual cramp, a feeling I know well, and a feeling that I hadn't felt in over 9 months. (I didn't realize until later that the full moon peaked over our house within 15 minutes of my first contraction! I LOVE this, as last spring I had really been trying to sync my cycle with the moon cycles! The fact that my labor started at the peak of a full moon tells me that my attempts were at least somewhat successful!!) I slept off and on through continued light contractions until around 5:00 am when I felt that they were getting a bit more regular. At that point, I downloaded an app and started timing them. After an hour of contractions that were lasting about 30 seconds and coming every 5-7 minutes, I figured it was time to wake Dan and let him know that our baby was probably on the way. He was so calm as I told him, which didn't surprise me as he is always calm in situations like these. We got out of bed a bit later and he made me a big bowl of oatmeal with raisins, walnuts, and molasses to give my body a bit of energy for the events ahead. I then proceeded to email work and tell them that I would not be teaching my classes that day--or the rest of the week--as I was HAVING A BABY!!! I talked to my midwife around this time as well and she told me to stay active, rest when I needed to, and eat. That all sounded good at the time, but within an hour or so the contractions were reaching a level of intensity where I was ready to move upstairs and stay there. I had anticipated and somewhat worried about this moment. I knew that once I was ready to go upstairs that I would stay there for at least a week (more on my postpartum convalescence in a later post), and I worried that when the time came I wouldn't want to commit to going up those stairs. However, when the time actually came, that thought was nowhere to be found. All I could think about was that my back was hurting with each contraction and upstairs sounded far more comfortable than the couch. So, up the stairs I went and stayed. I think this was around 10:30 or so in the morning of Tuesday, February 23rd.
I proceeded to labor and work through contractions upstairs while Dan got the birth tub ready and a few of the other supplies pulled together. With the baby coming a week early, we were mostly ready, but not quite. Dan had to run to the hardware store to buy a hose and faucet adapter for the birth tub and there still were a few things that I hadn't checked off the birth supplies list. It all worked out in the end, though, and we realized later that there was no need to rush any of these preparations as we were in this thing for the long haul!
One of my midwives stopped by mid-afternoon with a missing piece for the birth tub and while she was there she checked my vitals. All was well with me and Baby and so she left me with instructions to try a few different positions and to rest as I could through contractions. The midwives told us to stay in touch and they would return when the baby was closer. By 4:00 pm or so, Dan and I felt that things were picking up quite a bit. Our doula came about 4:30 and Joanna, our apprentice midwife, came around 5:00. Once Joanna was there, she once again checked my vitals and listened to the baby's heart. After confirming that all was well, she knelt down in front of me to break the news to me that neither Dan nor Anna, our doula, knew how to tell me---Jeanne, our other midwife, had to attend another birth and she was sending a backup midwife to us in her place. At this point, tears began to uncontrollably stream down my face. I logically knew and told myself that everything was going to be OK and that I wasn't actually that upset by the news. However, my body and emotions were acting separately from my mind and the tears continued to fall. I knew that it wasn't worth my energy and effort to dwell on it, though, so I said, "OK," and continued laboring on.
My labor was not easy, really at any point. I had been having back labor all afternoon and around the time that our doula arrived, the back labor intensified. We found that the only thing that relieved the pain during these contractions was to have either Dan or Anna push on my hips throughout the contraction. It was amazing how much relief this gave me! As labor continued, Dan and Anna took turns helping me with this (for which I was so very grateful!!). Shortly after the midwives arrived, they had me get in the birth tub. They hoped it would be a pain reliever and also get me moving in a different position. I had hoped for this as well, but was unfortunately surprised to find that because of the back labor, the water did little to relieve the pain. It was hard for Dan to push on my hips during contractions while I was in the tub. Because of this, I spent a lot of time on my hands and knees while in the water, which was only somewhat comfortable. Around 6:30, my wonderful chiropractor paid us a visit. My emotions got the best of me again as I heard her voice in the entryway and saw her face when she got to the top of the stairs. There was something so comforting about having her there with me, even if it was only for a short time. She had seen me more than my midwives throughout this pregnancy and she knows my body so very well. It comforted me so much to know that she might be able to help my baby come faster, safer, and maybe with less pain. After her adjustments, my contractions intensified for a bit. Baby and my body were trying so very hard to progress, and they were, but rather slowly!
Throughout the last few weeks of my pregnancy, we had known that Baby wasn't in the ideal position. At times he had been posterior and other times he was transverse. It is possible to birth a baby who is in either of these positions, but it tends to make labor harder and longer. Once labor started, we knew that Baby was still not in the ideal position, so the midwives had me try a few different positions to try to get the baby to move. Even with all of our attempts, though, he did not move, and labor continued at an intense, yet slow, pace. One of the positions that I tried was an inversion where I had to lay with my chest and face on the bed, arms back, and butt in the air. I laid this way for 45 minutes. Throughout the inversion, and the contractions during the inversion, my kitty Siah stayed right by my side. In fact, he stayed with me for all most all of the labor and was even in and out of the room during the pushing stage. He was so calm and peaceful, even during the tribal yells and screams that erupted from my mouth through each contraction. He was an important part of my birth team and I'm so very thankful for him. Having him there comforted me and made me so very happy.
Around 9:00 or 10:00 pm, Joanna told me that Jeanne had finished up at her other birth and that she was on her way to me. I was so happy and relieved! She arrived around 11:00 and her presence was another source of comfort. I got in the tub again after she arrived and at one point, between two very intense contractions, I remember looking back at her, longing for some sort of reassurance that I could do this. She locked eyes with me and gave me a gentle nod. It was what I needed, and I continued on. While I was in the tub, the midwives checked my cervix for the first time. I was fully dilated and mostly effaced and I was having pushing urges. They had me get out of the tub and lay on the bed on my side. I hardly remember this part, but I guess I pushed on the bed for about an hour. They then had me move down to the floor at the end of the bed and into a squatting position. This baby was having a hard time coming out and they wanted gravity on our side as I pushed. I proceeded to push for about another hour in this position. While I was pushing, Jeanne worked to help the baby descend as he was still in that less than ideal position. Babies usually crown at the back top part of their head, but our baby was crowing on the front right side of his head. This made his head seem a bit larger as it tried to come out, which required more of my body. As he started to crown, they had me kneel with one knee and put my other leg up with my foot on the ground in order to open my pelvis up a bit more. This gave Jeanne more room to work and gave the baby more room to make his entrance. It was at this point that Anna got my best friend Jada on FaceTime. Jada and I had wanted her to be at the birth, but she lives in Texas and wasn't planning to get up to Minnesota until the following week when the baby was due. Having her on FaceTime was the next best thing to having her there. They all expected the baby to arrive shortly after this point, but it was almost another hour before he did. This last bit of pushing was so very hard. I was extremely exhausted and was in need of nourishment. I had eaten chicken and barely soup in the afternoon, but had thrown it up in the evening. Anna had also fed me most of a banana and a few juice cubes during my second time in the birth tub, but other than that, I hadn't had anything else to eat. Looking back, this was a mistake as I needed the energy from food. However, I don't think any of us expected things to take as long as they did and so until Jeanne got there, food just wasn't on my radar. In order to give me energy while I was pushing, Anna fed me spoonfuls of yogurt and honey between my contractions. My legs were so weak and Dan held me up as I kneeled and squatted at the end of the bed. As I kneeled, my feet kept falling asleep and so I had to switch which leg was up every few contractions. However, since I was so weak, Dan and Anna had to help me switch legs. In spite of my exhaustion, I was alert enough to ask for water between almost every contraction, yet I was also exhausted and relaxed enough to fall asleep between contractions. I don't remember this at all, but supposedly I would fall asleep enough to start snoring! The body is an amazing thing! It was around this time that my water broke, and after that, in order to keep me going at two different points, Jeanne had me reach down and feel my baby's head as it crowned. Dan later told me that when I did that my energy and determination grew so much right afterwards.
Throughout the labor, I don't remember ever saying that I couldn't do it. I remember saying that I wanted to be done and that I wanted and needed the baby to come very soon, but I didn't say that I couldn't do it. I knew that I could and I knew that I had to. In my mind there wasn't another option. After he was born, someone asked me if I was worried at any point that I would have to transfer to the hospital due to the long labor and my exhaustion. This thought had not crossed my mind. I trusted my birth team to know what to do, but I also was never afraid that I couldn't do it. As I said before, Philippians 4:13 was my mantra. Throughout my 28+ hours of labor I said, "I can do all things," over and over and over again. Between contractions, that is what came out of my mouth, along with things like, "come on, Baby!" "I can do this!" and "Move into the right position, Baby!" I knew that my body and my baby could work together to do this, and that Jesus would give me the strength we needed to do so.
And that is exactly what happened.
At 4:47 am on Wednesday, February 24, our baby's head was born and at 4:48 his entire body followed. He came out crying a muffled cry, as he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck three times and once around his stomach! They later said that my umbilical cord was unusually long and straight and so even though it was wrapped so many times it was not pulled tight. This was also one of the reasons that he had had trouble getting into the proper position. The umbilical cord prevented him from moving the way he needed to. Within a few seconds of him being born, Jeanne had that cord off and his cry became strong and very loud. As I was so weak, they helped me slowly turn around and sit down on the floor so I could hold him. I'm sure this all took just a minute, but it seemed like an eternity. I remember having to carefully maneuver my weak legs and feet around the umbilical cord which was on the floor in order to sit. It seems like such a funny thing to remember so distinctly, but I was very concerned and focused on this in that moment. After I was seated Jeanne placed our baby in my arms. A few moments passed before I realized that we didn't know if our baby was a boy or girl, so I reached my hand down to investigate! Dan and I were rather certain that this little babe of ours was a girl, but to our surprise, I found that the babe in my arms was indeed a boy!! Our baby boy was here!!!!! He was healthy and strong!! And and my labor was over!!!! (Well, besides that pesky placenta!)
After checking the baby's and my vitals, they got us up on the bed. I was bleeding a bit and was extremely exhausted and weak. In order to stop the bleeding as soon as possible, since in my exhausted state they didn't want me to lose any more blood, they gave me a shot of Pitocin. They then examined me to see how badly I had torn. Since Baby had crowned in the wrong position, it was a lot harder for my body to stretch like it was supposed to. As he had descended and crowned, my midwives knew that I would likely tear, but they both did their best to keep it as minimal possible. At this point, I think the three of us were all a bit concerned about what they would find. I figured I had torn and I knew that if the tear was really bad, I would have to go to the hospital to be stitched up by an OBGYN. The tear was bad, but thankfully, not bad enough to require a transfer. For this we were all thankful; as I was so weak, the thought of moving was a bit unfathomable.
Around this time is when we told our birth team what our beautiful baby boy's name was to be. Oak Alexander Rodriguez. Oak, like the tree, for it's strength and ability to withstand harsh conditions and Alexander for Dan's little brother who passed away back in 2001. In Oak's few short weeks with us we've seen him live up to his name. With his difficult birth, challenging first few days, and his ability to hold his head up from the beginning, we've seen this little boy of ours display great strength in spite of challenges, and we are so very thankful for that.
Back to that pesky placenta...it took about an hour for it to come and after pushing a baby out for 3 hours, I found pushing the placenta out to be rather awful. I had read that this was the easy part...but my body strongly disagreed. Those final contractions made my whole body shake as my exhausted stomach muscles gave what little was left of them to push that thing out. Once it was done, what little adrenaline and energy I had left quickly vanished. The midwives moved me up to the head of the bed, where they did a comprehensive newborn exam on our little one. He was a big boy measuring 8 lbs, 8 oz, and 22.25 inches long! Then then cleaned up and set me all up with herbal teas and compresses for the hours and days ahead. They left about 4 hours after Oak was born, knowing that my mom would be over within the hour to take care of us, as we all needed to be taken care of!
Looking back at my birth now, I'm so incredibly thankful that we made the decisions that we did. My labor was not easy. In fact, it was very, very long and very, very hard. However, because it was at home, it was peaceful, comfortable, and completely natural. I knew my body was capable, but I needed to be allowed to labor at the pace my body and baby required. If we had planned a hospital birth, I may not have been allowed to have a natural, vaginal birth. There likely would have been interventions, and possibly a C-Section, due to my long labor and long pushing stage. I didn't want this and so I'm so very thankful for the experience that I did have. It was not easy, but I did it! And because I did it, our baby was welcomed into this world surrounded by people who loved him, who cared deeply for us all, and into a home that was peaceful and welcoming. This is what we wanted and we are so very thankful that it was what we got.
Welcome, my precious little Oak. You are so very loved.
The amazing birth photos were taken by our friend and doula Anna Botz. Our midwife was Jeanne Bazille with Peacefully Born Traditional Midwifery. Also, a big thank you to my dear husband. He was my strong and steady partner through the whole birth and I'm so very thankful for him.